I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
