Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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