I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
