You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
