What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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