Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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