Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
