dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
