Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
