Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize