I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
