So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
