did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
