I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
