Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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