I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
