You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
