My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
