Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
