What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
