I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
