oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
