I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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