oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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