I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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