How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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