she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
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