Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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