I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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