I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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