I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
