dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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