the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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