I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
