i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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