Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
