Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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