did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
