drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
