Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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