could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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