make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
