woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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