he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
