did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
