it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
