You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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