You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
