he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I just googled if crying burns calories
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
