I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
