I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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