i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
