Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
