so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
