You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize
