thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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