I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
