My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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