end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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