I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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