In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize